So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
