this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
