how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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