He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm always down for nudity.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
