Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize