so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
