we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
