The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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