I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
