it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
