I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
