I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
