i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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