so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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