got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize