Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
