she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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