Yo dont text me then not text me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize