I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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