1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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