Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
