that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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