It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize