At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I skipped work to stalk him.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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