dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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