I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize