i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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