Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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