I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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