I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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