I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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