no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
