the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
