How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
