What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
