So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize