Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
