is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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