Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I booty called her while she was in labor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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