I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
