Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im holly from the hills drunk
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
