I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
