Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
