Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You can't special order awesome
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Rumble strips road head = magical
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
