My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
