what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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