I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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