Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
