you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
