i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
