im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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