you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
