just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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