remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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