Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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