how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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