Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
