Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
