May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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