What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
