Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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