I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
