I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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