Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
how drunk are you?
Several
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
