Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
